This post was originally written in November 2012.
Since Wednesdays are dedicated to ramblings about various topics that come to mind, today is no different. And because I’m yet again pulling myself away from my studies and focusing on my blogging (not just here but also contributing to The Artifice) I was like, why not talk about why I keep blogging instead of studying and connecting it to the reasons why I became a movie blogger. Therefore, it is quite a personal rambling-post this week but I promise, I’m getting back to the hardcore essay type ramblings by next week.
This is something that is like a quiet obsession of mine, it was much louder when I was a teenager but now I just keep quiet and dream of this every now and then. It all started when I was very little, I just drew pictures and told stories to go with them, then wrote (with major grammar mistakes by the way) and it just kept building. The dream hasn’t been totally unnoticed as well, I’ve won some competitions and got myself published in a book with collection of stories. But after high-school I went to educate myself further and with that came the lack of motivation to write fiction. I don’t know why it happened and why I haven’t been able to get it back, but to substitute my need to put words on paper, I decided to start writing a blog. I actually had a blog/diary from 2007 up until 2011 but I closed it down and started to dedicate more time to this blog here.
Obvious answer why this blog is about movies is rather simple to all of us I guess, movie bloggers write about movies because they love movies. Also because it is probably the thing they know most about, like I’m super confident about my opinions when it comes to movies. I try to understand the other side of the coin every now and then but I’m quite confident (at least now) to say if a movie is bad or good. Before, I just loved movies.. now I think I’m obsessed with some movies. It grows, it develops and combining writing and movies was just the right thing to do for me at that time. The time I wasn’t writing and was watching shows and movies like I’m doing it now actually. It’s scary to think how much time I spend watching things and writing about them and still am able to finish all my school work. Well, actually, I have no social life which pretty much clears everything up.
This is a complicated one for me, I never feel like I need approval or comments when it comes to my posts because I do enjoy writing them enough to keep doing it without feedback. Still, getting the comments from readers does add fire under my fingers and I do feel like I have achieved something. Same goes for being noticed, like being offered a contributor place on an online site such as The Artifice. Of course there were many offers and it has a lot of writers but.. I’m still relatively new at this point, it’s going to be three years. So, even with that three years, I started receiving comments around this summer and this is the time I actually became super active, a real blogger. After that, everything has become all about this blog.. future plans and all. Probably because I really feel I’m doing something useful with my free time.
You’d think that blogging means spending a lot of time in front of the computer, writing, editing (a general opinion from my mother) but it is so far from it all! I spend a lot of time preparing a single post, then scheduling posts !, planning big posts ahead etc. It all is like a system and it is difficult to explain that system to somebody who sees work as a physical activity. Also, since English isn’t my first language, my mother and father can’t read my blog, meaning, they can’t really read what I write and see the progress. But where does responsibility kick in? Well, I don’t see many people writing regularly, three times a week (to say at least) and posting around 20 quality posts a month 12 months a year! It is a commitment to say at least and it is something that I have kept doing and improving, I haven’t quit and that is a sign of responsibility right there!
I know this is a far fetched dream at times, I say that to myself every day, but I do wish blogging became my career at some point. The difficulty of this is the fact that I do live in Estonia and having a blog in English isn’t the most valuable thing. But writing for a wider audience has always been something I’ve been more invested in.. And making it like this is even more difficult. Despite of this, I think there is still hope and I will not stop. Because if not now, then in 20 years I would have more experience and value which means that eventually blogging will pay off.
Has anyone ever tried to read my old 2010 posts? Well, if you do want to laugh and shake your head with disbelief, try to find them and then forget about them because oh-em-gi! I was really bad, I was horrible to say at least and everything about my language skills, proofing skills, editing skills etc was just not acceptable. Comparing 2010 with 2012 one would see such improvement with language skills and writing ability that you’d be amazed to know that it is the same person writing now that was writing then.
This is actually something really interesting because I just realized it a couple of weeks ago, I consider some of the bloggers I interact my actual Internet friends. I just see them as friends because it is really difficult to define them otherwise. Plus, some are just awesome and inspire me to a point where I’m literally trying to push myself further and further to become better. As far as improvements go, as much as WordPress allows me to do for free, I’m keeping the blog fresh and as visually appealing as possible. Hopefully it’s working.
I will end it here because 7 is my favorite number and I think it is just right amount of reading for you at this point. Really hoping that you enjoyed the post and let me know in the comments why you love to blog, I’m very curious myself, though, I tend to think the reasons are fairly similar.